i LOVE going to college. It is hard. Today it made me emotional. I choose everyday to be here. To learn from teachers, students, text books and myself. The semester is almost over. Three weeks of classes and one week of finals. I never thought I would go to school beyond high school. & here I am. Full time on NAU campus while trying to juggle the rest of life. This is what is in my future for the next 3 years solid. Yes, summer and winter sessions too. Some days are easy. Other days are hard. Today I am sad to say I raised my voice at my sweet child. He did not deserve it. Yes, his homework should have been done for it was time to walk out the door to go to school. I apologized. I did not get the feeling he forgave me. I have this fear in 4 years I will have gained a degree and at the same time lose my time with my family. There is no doubt this is where I need to be. So then what? Today I took the afternoon off. Skipped my bio class. Any personal time is non-existent. Where is the balance?
On Sunday I was overwhelmed & sad I have not done my visit & teaching since I started school. I cried about it. There is so much to do. Two hours later I was called to be the new Cub Scout leader for the Bears. What? In my spare time? Of course I took it. Last night I asked our Bishop what advice he had for our family. He counseled us to raise the bar or "step it up". To do a little better. He has been in our house and knows what we are like. He knows we are doing good things. He advised us to talk more with our kids "spirit to spirit". This morning I did the opposite. So I sit with my own thoughts reminding myself that A's are great but at what expense? It will be okay if I get a B in bio. Right?
